Understanding is the key to open the doors to our heart, to find out that these doors were never locked.
The final invitation
Life had invited me to something different many times. However I was never able to see these invitations as I was solely living in my head. I did not have the proper understanding. But as my whole projected image of the future got wiped out, I tumbled into a depression & could no longer escape myself. Another time around, I was dropped into an ocean of dense emotions. This time, I couldn’t fix them anymore with reasoning or mental constructs as I was used to do.
After having found some peace of mind in nature, I ended up accepting the position as the general manager of a centre for personal development. It was the beginning of my quest to understand “why ?”.
The quest of understanding “why ?”
I found myself in the perfect place to gather all the information needed to answer all of the questions that arose during my depression. Without knowing the deeper reasons why, I started following several seminars & workshops. It seemed obvious that I needed to know the program of the centre. This reason provided me with the perfect cover to explore freely.
I have deep gratitude for all of the teachings, experiences & learnings I came in touch with over the course of almost 15 years. I also took advantage of the opportunity to visit & participate in the offering of several international centres.
I ventured through the landscape of personal development & spirituality for over 15 years in search for a deeper meaning. My repeating annoyances & surfacing frustrations supplied for enough fuel to keep digging.
My most pertinent question through-out this journey was why ?.
Many times, I would have liked my reality to be different & I truly wanted something else. I kept experiencing the same dense emotions & frustrations. I dealt with different forms of stress & even depression. I could no longer control the external reasons of this stress. I did not find it fair. I was working hard.
Strangely enough, not much of my inner world was shown on the outside, mostly due to my optimistic character. My optimist & several strategies of protection had been camouflaging my inner world, even to myself. I got to experience that it was needed for as long as it was needed.
I could definitely not believe that I was responsible for all of that !
Each experience & each insight over the whole period evoked a deeper question until I was finally able to let go of my need to know why. The question why had yet become another mind strategy to prevent me from feeling more free. Finally, I had gathered enough pieces that fitted together to make up a consistent story to please my mind.
The basic understanding.
All traditions & every lineage of practices have their own way of expressing the same. Not all offerings are as embodied as they could be & getting to know some teachers outside of the seminar also provided with interesting learnings & insights.
What works (has a lasting positive impact) & what does not is very subjective & surely depends on time & place. We can only hear what we’re allowing ourselves to hear at a certain moment. Hearing & understanding something different when the same was being said more or less became the general rule on my journey of understanding.
However, the underlaying meta structures of a deeper truth are as old as mankind & resonate with every human being.
For the process of Divine co-creation, I present you with the basic understanding through three stories:
The basic understanding allowed me to fully realize that I’m responsible for how I experience the world. I’m responsible for my feelings & my emotions. There couldn’t be any better news, yet it took quite some time to process this.