The Divine is a genius! Since we search for Love & Recognition outside of ourselves, it is exactly were the Divine operates. Life does what is needed to invite us to look inside.
My experiences altered my view on Life quite a bit. Looking back, I can clearly see how Life had been inviting me all along. Life provided me with all that was needed to pierce through the different layers of protection I had build around my heart.
What puzzled me for a long time was how I was able to believe that everything was fine, only to find out that it was not. How could I have been so ignorant?
We all have a different journey & this journey is installed in our own unique energetic blueprint. In that way, we cannot really get off track, as we are the tracks of our very own reality.
« I am the journey and I am always on track. »
Life invites us through all of her manifestations & happenings. She operates through the forms of other people, our stories, nature, … Life is one big invitation & every invitation resonates with our energetic blueprint. As we often protected us from feeling our energy body, we will often only start feeling in one of our other bodies, layered around.
When I could not see, hear nor feel the more subtle invitations, due to my strategies of protection, the invitations got stronger. Up to a point were keeping my attention towards the outside was no longer an option. I had cultivated enough understanding to turn my attention inwards. In the beginning, I thought that I had taken a long time, being 40 years & all. The knowing that my mother started building her dream at the age of 58 has always put these thoughts in perspective. Now, reaching 49, I witness so many fellow human beings who express that everything is fine. But it is not what I feel when I connect with them & probably one of the main reasons I’m sharing all of this.
As the world around us, reflects ourselves, so does the whole population of our planet. Everything that happens in the world, is a reflection of how we are as human beings inside of us. If we want to contribute to a different global reality, we need to start with our own reality. Life takes care of the rest. It is the only way.
Physical pains (physical body):
Besides the tensions that we are unconsciously holding in our physical bodies, Life makes it its duty to remind or to inform us if something is not in alignment. Sometimes we get « informed » through arising tensions but at times our physical body gets shaken up pretty hard. It can take several weeks before we become aware of tension in our back. But it takes several years to multiple decades to feel the build up tensions in our intestines.
Traditional medicine surely has its place & value. However, many treatments & subscriptions became part of « radio normal ». They are not normal. The « body » has more intelligence than we would like to believe. All of our bodies are connected in different ways, but we mostly only address the physical one without much inquiry into a possible the deeper cause of the pain.
« All physical pain is an invitation to inquire into a possible deeper cause. »
Today, there is a huge offering in non-traditional medicine & practices. It is worth exploring. There is a huge amount of information on the web. Whatever catches your eye … More & more, Eastern medicine is finding its entry in the Western continent. Most of them have an integrated approach & look into the different layers of our bodies. The are definitely gaining in appreciating, simply because of their results. Many of them have a difficult time to get recognized by the social systems.
Busy thoughts (mental body):
Mindfulness, zen & many other forms of Eastern meditation techniques are very popular. That is no surprise as we are living in times were our mental activity is well rewarded. We also live in overloads of information. Many of us deal with very busy thoughts generating all kinds of stress. A constant flow of repeating & similar thoughts. We have between 40 to 60 thousand thoughts a day & most of these thoughts are very similar each day. Besides the observation that these thoughts generate all kinds of fears & anxieties because they are not adapted to the present moment, they also co-create our reality.
To keep these thoughts from disturbing us, we developed many techniques through-out history. The most common strategy to deal with all of our thoughts are keeping the mind busy with television, music, work, reading, gossip, .. & the list goes on. Most of the time we also have a good excuse to do so, of course.
Experience tells me that for most of the time, our reasons are based on hidden intentions. Becoming conscious on how we feed our thoughts is a first good step. Nothing wrong with enjoying a great movie or reading a good book (thank you) . Relaxing the mind after an intense day were intellectual focus was required is much needed. Life is much about balance.
The good news here is that you don’t have to stop all of these thoughts. For a long time, these thoughts might remain. The key is not to attach any importance to them. The commonly used metaphor is the one of the clouds. Thoughts are like clouds, let them pass.
By observing my thought, without taking them serious, I was able to see the repeating patterns. Slowly, a had thoughts I never thought before. Whaouw, that was actually exciting. A good rule of thumb is the following; whenever a direct action can be associated with a thought, do it. If not, let them move on. If something truly needs your attention, the thought will be back.
Dense or disturbing emotions (emotional body):
My program was as such that I didn’t express emotions. I took quite some effort to allow myself to express my emotions in the presence of someone else. The few times I had done so, was mainly to attract attention. But when I got the attention, I didn’t want the offered help. It was my deeper strategy to obtain what I wanted by playing melancholic. It worked often. Usually, I would cry when I was alone. Only anger I was able to express, mostly in the form of hurtful words. I also remember hitting things around me. Occasionally, I would break something.
Somehow I knew that thinking before expressing what I had to say was not the way to go, as I was advised by some. I always felt that I should clean up my act from within so that I can remain spontaneous.
During my depression, I had plenty of time to express my emotions. Depressions will do that. As I kept exploring my emotions more over the next years, I discovered different layers underneath different layers. Underneath my sadness, I would find anger. Underneath, I would encounter sadness again, …
I can imagine that an angry child is not very accepted in our society, mostly, the child gets punished. As a child, when I needed to suppress my anger, I became sad. Sadness is not a very popular emotion either for a child. The people around us & especially the ones who love us have the desire for us to be happy. When we had to suppress our sadness, we became depressed & started to numb our bodies. It wouldn’t surprise me if some of the very silent or very calm children are actually in a form of depression. Unfortunately, depression has become part of « radio normal » & we have developed « great » medicine for that.
Many non-traditional disciplines are based on releasing the cumulated emotions. Liberation emotions often comes with new insights & every new insight is an invitation to make different choices.
Repeating annoyances and patterns :
It took some time to recognize some of my most repeating patterns. The more I was able to remain present & observe myself, the more became clear. Each new experience & happening, each iteration I got to see more. When I learned about my character, I could work the other way around as each character has pre-determined strategies & patterns. Honest reflection also helped. Having this on my agenda surely helped to be more present through-out the days.
At some point, I also got in touch with the pattern that I had linked with the crushed ice in my cocktail. When I would feel emotions of sadness surfacing, I would go away to the privacy of my home, play the victim & cry. It took some time to see the more subtle variations of that pattern. At some point I made myself a bold promise. I would never run away again & face whatever would happen.
To find the invitation in my frustrations was a bit harder. Mostly, I just kept blaming the other & settled my mind by being right or being better. Slowly I started to open up to the idea that maybe, … just maybe, it was me.
« If something touches me, there must be something to be touched. »
My most interesting teachers became; doubt, frustration, jealousy, shame & guilt. Each of them invited me to see more of me. Doubt helped me challenge deep rooted believes & brought me in touch with persistence & different layers of confidence. I came to see jealousy as a cry for help. As an invitation from within to be seen. As a call to be worthy. Frustration allowed me to connect with my anger & the deeper layers of injustice. Feelings of shame invited me to love myself more & guilt invited me to question my deeper intentions. Life has many teachers & we all have our favorite ones.
Human curiosity & desire :
When you are living a loving & caring life & you feel you are part of an unfolding dream, you are blissed. Life has its moments & it is beautiful. In those moments, Life invites us to be curious & adopt the qualities of the new born child. Exploring, wondering,… as all is happening for the first time. Curiosity invites us to awaken into the present moment & savor the fruits that present themselves.
Even when everything is fine, our human desire will guide us towards different kind of invitations. Allowing oneself to act upon a desire will certainly be worth while as we often hold fear underneath desires.
« What I search for on the outside, I have not found inside yet. »
The key with each invitation is to allow ourselves to fully feel what this invitation evokes in all of our bodies & remain present with them for as long as possible.